April 28
Another early morning.
For me.
Out the door by 7:30, thankfully getting a ride with a new friend, Bryce.
Work was another 8-4 day. I rather enjoyed it all, until the wind and waves started kicking up. I was forced to deal with the strains of almost having another panic attack while at work. We went outside the boats, looked inside the bilges, the engine rooms, found where all the life boats are located.
After work, Scott and Jacob picked me up to view to the apartments/rooms I'd found. One was about a 2 minute drive from work. It was a bedroom located in a lady's condo, shared bathroom. It was nice, but just didn't feel quite right. The second place was okay too. It was in someone's house, attached but off to the side. It was a private bathroom, private room with a side entrance. The first room was about $750 per month, the second place was only $450, with a $200 deposit.
I felt lousy about both of them.
It feels like I'm just flaking out of everything, just because I'm anxious and terrified.
I feel depressed.
I feel like, whatever decision I make, will be the wrong one.
I fell like life is just kicking me while I'm down.
After work I walked up to Walmart again. I got some apples, some crackers and a few things to bring to lunch the rest of the week.
I'm just feeling really sad.
Sadly, watching SM didn't help too much. Neither did my go-to song. I did some laundry - probably going to get it out tomorrow morning.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Day 5
April 27
Oh my gosh!
I never knew working on a boat could make me feel so nauseasous!
We were on the boat almost all day long. Training, learning new things, getting orientated with it all. We did go out on the water - saw a few killer whales (orcas) and some humpbacks. Also some some stellar sea lions. It was an 8-4 day.
After work I found two rooms that I planned on visiting within the week. I set up an appointment to visit each one after work tomorrow.
Back at the house I walked down to Walmart - mostly so I could call up my mom. She is the one person I can fully talk to about anything. It may be strange to some, but our mother-daughter friendship is one that I can't really replace. It's always soothing and she knows just what to say.
Later on I caught a ride to FHE (Family Home Evening) with an old friend, Jacob. I had to talk to the branch president about the hunt for a home. It was really starting to stress me out.
Back at my current digs, I went online after eating some dinner.
Another early day tomorrow!
Oh my gosh!
I never knew working on a boat could make me feel so nauseasous!
We were on the boat almost all day long. Training, learning new things, getting orientated with it all. We did go out on the water - saw a few killer whales (orcas) and some humpbacks. Also some some stellar sea lions. It was an 8-4 day.
After work I found two rooms that I planned on visiting within the week. I set up an appointment to visit each one after work tomorrow.
Back at the house I walked down to Walmart - mostly so I could call up my mom. She is the one person I can fully talk to about anything. It may be strange to some, but our mother-daughter friendship is one that I can't really replace. It's always soothing and she knows just what to say.
Later on I caught a ride to FHE (Family Home Evening) with an old friend, Jacob. I had to talk to the branch president about the hunt for a home. It was really starting to stress me out.
Back at my current digs, I went online after eating some dinner.
Another early day tomorrow!
Day 4
April 26
Today I slept until 11. It was so wonderful to be able to do so.
I was picked up for church around 11:45 - making it to the 12 start time.
3 hours of blissful reprieve and learning. I never really knew what it was to feel peace until today.
Another added bonus to the day was that I was able to play some piano. I brought up two books with me - and I went through each of them.
I was able to get a ride over to see the apartment. I was disappointed and freaked out. It was just a one room, with bathroom, behind someone's house. There was no kitchen whatsoever. It was also located in a rather sketchy neighborhood, on the sketch side.
I felt dejected and rather defeated.
Back at the current home I tried my best to sort things out again. I went back online and found three more places that had potential.
Another late dinner before heading off to sleep early. Thank goodness work starts tomorrow.
Today I slept until 11. It was so wonderful to be able to do so.
I was picked up for church around 11:45 - making it to the 12 start time.
3 hours of blissful reprieve and learning. I never really knew what it was to feel peace until today.
Another added bonus to the day was that I was able to play some piano. I brought up two books with me - and I went through each of them.
I was able to get a ride over to see the apartment. I was disappointed and freaked out. It was just a one room, with bathroom, behind someone's house. There was no kitchen whatsoever. It was also located in a rather sketchy neighborhood, on the sketch side.
I felt dejected and rather defeated.
Back at the current home I tried my best to sort things out again. I went back online and found three more places that had potential.
Another late dinner before heading off to sleep early. Thank goodness work starts tomorrow.
Day 3
April 25
This day was rather left in the dark.
I though it would be great day, instead I winded up being in bed, in my batman PJ's till about 2 in the afternoon. The good thing was that a new friend happened in and just chilled with me. Not only that, but she fixed some of the worst bugs on my laptop - making it run faster. The brightness is still an issue, but I can work around that.
I spent another few hours e-mailing people about rooms and apartment for temporary rent. It's not really amazing how difficult it is to find someplace in Juneau. It's rather difficult, and often can be depressing. I set up an apointment to see one after church tomorrow. We'll see how that works out.
I was feeling tons better that evening, so I got all dressed up and headed out with Cadence. We went downtown and got some ice cream at the Wharf. I actually got some Maui Waui - a sorbert that tastes delicious! I'd been thinking about this flavor since last summer. We were a little late to the concert we were going to. Our friend Lizzy was singing with the adult choir. We sat there, listening to the children's choirs. I enjoyed it quite a lot. It was refreshing to be able to be out and about - and to be at a concert! Music really is one of the best medicines for the soul.
When we got back to the house we had a late bite to eat. I binged on some more Sailor Moon before finally calling it a night.
This day was rather left in the dark.
I though it would be great day, instead I winded up being in bed, in my batman PJ's till about 2 in the afternoon. The good thing was that a new friend happened in and just chilled with me. Not only that, but she fixed some of the worst bugs on my laptop - making it run faster. The brightness is still an issue, but I can work around that.
I spent another few hours e-mailing people about rooms and apartment for temporary rent. It's not really amazing how difficult it is to find someplace in Juneau. It's rather difficult, and often can be depressing. I set up an apointment to see one after church tomorrow. We'll see how that works out.
I was feeling tons better that evening, so I got all dressed up and headed out with Cadence. We went downtown and got some ice cream at the Wharf. I actually got some Maui Waui - a sorbert that tastes delicious! I'd been thinking about this flavor since last summer. We were a little late to the concert we were going to. Our friend Lizzy was singing with the adult choir. We sat there, listening to the children's choirs. I enjoyed it quite a lot. It was refreshing to be able to be out and about - and to be at a concert! Music really is one of the best medicines for the soul.
When we got back to the house we had a late bite to eat. I binged on some more Sailor Moon before finally calling it a night.
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