Day 6

April 28

Another early morning.

For me.

Out the door by 7:30, thankfully getting a ride with a new friend, Bryce.

Work was another 8-4 day. I rather enjoyed it all, until the wind and waves started kicking up. I was forced to deal with the strains of almost having another panic attack while at work. We went outside the boats, looked inside the bilges, the engine rooms, found where all the life boats are located.

After work, Scott and Jacob picked me up to view to the apartments/rooms I'd found. One was about a 2 minute drive from work. It was a bedroom located in a lady's condo, shared bathroom. It was nice, but just didn't feel quite right. The second place was okay too. It was in someone's house, attached but off to the side. It was a private bathroom, private room with a side entrance. The first room was about $750 per month, the second place was only $450, with a $200 deposit.

I felt lousy about both of them.

It feels like I'm just flaking out of everything, just because I'm anxious and terrified.

I feel depressed.

I feel like, whatever decision I make, will be the wrong one.

I fell like life is just kicking me while I'm down.

After work I walked up to Walmart again. I got some apples, some crackers and a few things to bring to lunch the rest of the week.

I'm just feeling really sad.

Sadly, watching SM didn't help too much. Neither did my go-to song. I did some laundry - probably going to get it out tomorrow morning.